The Bitch Seat

Nothing too technical here, just Creeping Jennie's perspective on topics ranging from Rally tips, dos and don'ts, things that piss me off, and cool things I want to share.

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What The Fuck

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As a local, I have been to the Rally many, many times, but had never actually stayed there overnight until 2009. In the year I took to prepare, I searched the web for stories other people had written about their Sturgis experiences. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find much. Disappointed, I hoped to write about my experiences and share some of the more bizarre. There had to be other people like me who enjoy the freak show, right?

While preparing this blog entry, I asked my friends for their input. One of my good friends struggled at first in sharing her stories. “Do you mean WTF for Sturgis, or WTF for the real world, because those are totally different things!” Yes my friend, you are absolutely right, especially when you are staying in one of the major campgrounds. Cognizant of this, I chose stories that made the person sharing them say, “What The Fuck!” I will start with a couple of my own.

In 2009 my brother and sister in law were at the Buffalo Chip camping. We were nursing hangovers from the previous night's festivities, just playing cards and drinking coffee. A dude on a motorcycle goes by our camp, and he was completely naked. We looked at each other in disbelief and said, "He's riding without SHOES???" I realized then and there that the Rally changes the way you look at things. This was the WTF moment- the realization that, like the proverbial frog in the pot you don’t feel the shift in cultural climate until it’s “too late.”

In 2014, my WTF moment was when my husband and some great friends and I were taking a ride on one of the shuttle busses. We were promised that we were going straight to our destination, but for some reason stopped at another campground to pick up even more passengers to cram into the already crowded bus. I made room for others by sitting on my husband's lap, facing him. Keep in mind that I was wearing a rather provocative outfit consisting of not much more than is required by law, and of course fishnet stockings. He looked at me and said, "I make no promises; I am wearing a kilt, after all!" Then, an alligator boarded the bus. I'm sitting on my kilted husband's lap on a bus with an ALLIGATOR only a few feet away from me. WOW.

My last WTF moment from my personal stash: I was dancing on the stripper pole and men were giving me tips. One man had given me a $20 bill, but most were $1 and $5. To be clear, all I was doing was dancing, NOTING MORE. One guy drops 63 cents into the tip bucket. "I have to go by the ATM" he explained, "but you're beautiful." Lol 63 cents? Not sure if I should be insulted, or proud that he gave me his last penny???

I have plenty of WTF moments to share, but I thought I would give some of the 11,000 members of my Facebook Sturgis Motorcycle Rally Group a chance to share theirs.

“WTF moment at a campsite stripper pole (Will not mention which one) one dancer decided it was erotic to insert the trailer hitch WTF.”

“Okay so this didn't happen to me, but to my camp neighbor. They had a big 2 room tent setup with 3 people in it Tom, Jane and Joe (honestly I can't remember their names lol) Jane wakes up and feels someone between her and her husband Joe. She thinks at first it’s her son Joe (he's like in his twenties) and maybe he got disorientated or something. After trying to wake him up she realizes it’s not her son Joe it’s some NAKED stranger sleeping between her and her husband. She obviously starts screaming and wakes her husband and son up. They try to get the buck ass naked guy out and he turns combative and doesn't want to leave. It took the two of them to get him out of the tent and they proceeded to beat his ass as his naked ass was running away. We figured as this was way after concerts that he got up to take a piss and wandered back to the wrong tent. I wish I would have woke up to see this!”

“During one of the concerts at the Chip someone was revving the shit out of a bike there off and on for the 2nd concert. We were standing right next to it and thought nothing of it. All of a sudden the guy goes to start the bike again and some guy comes cover and guess what? IT WASN'T THAT GUY'S BIKE!!!! The guy starts apologizing and trying to be "buddy-buddy" then ends up getting walked away before he got a whipping. WTF WHO DOES THAT?!?!?!?!?!”

“Saw a guy had a lady bent over the rail of a bridge in Sturgis, with her dress up over her head. When I was walking home. I lived few blocks off Main Street at that time. I said WTF!”

“We were at Buffalo Chip about 15 years ago and it was around 3 a.m. we were awake partying and the tent next to us, well about 40 ft. from us used a flashlight inside so we could see the silhouette of the 2 people inside. She did an amazing Strip Tease, then ended in a full on Sex Show!

Second was at Buffalo Chip again, I used a friend’s 4 wheeler to head to the restrooms with a friend of mine and a Nasty girl in nothing but chaps, NOTHING but chaps, not even any shoes walked up to my 4 wheeler and tried to SIT on the front rack of it to take a load off her feet, but ass naked. I was so disgusted, I pushed her off of there. Luckily it didn't end in anything further or complete full on fight or anything. She was drunk and thought she was being funny and said sorry and stumbled away.

Third was at Hog Heaven Campground...BACK when _______ owned it. It was 20 years ago I guess, when it was wilder and Jimmy Van Zant played every year...My husband and I were sitting at the vending area by the stage, a GUY and his WIFE sat next to us, no big deal. Started talking then decided to ask me if it would OK that he watch Me and His Wife have sex in their camper!”

“I collect knives and at the Full Throttle Saloon I went in and bought about 10-15 knives from various vendors. Then security kicked me out because I had a knife clipped inside my pocket. They said the bag of knives I bought from there was fine to carry around though.”

“The Mennonites that stand downtown with their signs, have you ever watched their eyes? Whenever a female walked by boy did their eyes watch that ass!!!! I was like whoa now that's some funny shit because you could see this lil smirk on their faces!! This year I'm walking by in a lil as I can with the hubby video taping them!!”

“Stepping in shit at the chip campground knowing it was probably human shit because pets aren't allowed. This wasn't dog shit, it smelled like booze poos and disappointment. That, unfortunately was better than the dirty condom stuck to my tent when I packed up.”

“Ours is passing out in out tent and then waking up in the morning with a truck radiator over our heads!! These guys came in in the middle of the night and just about ran us over!!  Needless to say my hubby went over to the truck beat on the window wear there were passed out and told them to move their Fing truck.”

What were your WTF Sturgis Rally stories? Feel free to tell us in the comments!

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Jennie was born and raised in the Rapid City, South Dakota area. She met a military man who dragged her around the world. After learning many Italian swear words, Jennie returned home to Rapid City, plus a couple of kids, but minus a husband. She eventually met an Australian man at the Rally and married him. She now occasionally teaches, often writes, and always enjoys the view from the Bitch Seat. Follow me on Twitter @creepingjennie

Comments

  • Gregg Stilton
    Gregg Stilton Monday, 23 February 2015

    WTF there is nothing else to say well maybe one. Mine was Hail then size of Baseballs in 2009 that was WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

  • Creeping Jennie
    Creeping Jennie Monday, 23 February 2015

    Yep That was pretty WTF for me as well, but that story is for another day! ;)

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